Word Meaning (New)

Divorce :  Future tense of marriage.

Cigarette :  A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.

Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

Conference :  The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise :  The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears :  The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by
feminine water power.

Conference Room :  A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Classic :  A book which people praise, but do not read.

Office :  A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Etc. :  A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee :  Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience :  The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb :  An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher :  A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat :  A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Father :  A banker provided by nature.

Boss :  Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Doctor :  A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.