Saturday, May 21, 2005

English as a second language...

The European Commission has just announced an
agreement whereby English will be the official
language of the European Union rather than German,
which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations Her Majesty's Government
conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan
that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'.
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with

The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of the 'k'.
This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have
one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replased with
the 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20%

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new
spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where
more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double
leters which have always been a deterent to akurate

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent
'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go

By the 4th yer peopl will be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' be dropd from
vords kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kors
be aplid to oza kombinations of letas.

After ziz fifz yer ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten
styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and
evrivun vil find it ezi tu anderstand ech oza.

Ze drem of ze united urop vil finali kum tru!


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I usually do not write many remarks, however i did some searching and wound up here "English as a second language...".

And I actually do have a couple of questions for
you if you don't mind. Could it be just me or does it seem like some of the comments come across like written by brain dead folks? :-P And, if you are posting at additional sites, I'd
like to follow everything fresh you have to post. Would you list of
the complete urls of your community sites like your Facebook page, twitter feed, or linkedin profile?
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